Shadow

According to dictionary.com, there are 15 definitions for the word shadow, as least as a noun.  In my head for quite a while, I've considered Meredith my shadow. Lately, I've spoken it out loud. If you know me well though, you know I don't like when things are incorrect. I like to be correct- now there's a set up for failure!

I thought my way around this whole shadow thing...she's always with me-like a shadow! Sounds great! But then my need to be correct kicks in..."well, only if the sun is shining", and "what if the sun is hitting me from the wrong direction?", and "what if there is a building in the way" and "what if on the second Tuesday of the 6th month while I'm standing on my head in the center of Tiananmen Square talking to Prince William.." You get the picture. 

Hence the trip to dictionary.com (no frequent flyer miles unfortunately). I began to read, growing in disappointment until #14: an inseparable companion. Ah. There it is. Relief. She is my shadow. 

You may or may not be able to understand fully. But, if you are a parent, a mom, you know that once your heart has loved a little one- whether born from your tummy or chosen by your heart- the heart can never go back to the way it was before.

18 months after her death, she remains my inseparable companion. And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings."
 Psalm 17:8